Day 27 - A fun, cold day

High School. Of course, I love this picture now. Back then, I was MORTIFIED about how big my arm looked.

Today was a really good and cold day. The family made snow ice cream. We built a snow fort. Drank hot chocolate (which was not included in my calories because it was home made and I don't know how much was in it). Going down in the books as a really fun day.

No gym today and calories were at 1230.

Day 26

I just thought I looked cute in this pic! :) I believe I was about 19 (ish).

Pretty good day today. I did not, at all, want to go to the gym this morning...in the snow. But I did. I got there a little later than planned so only did 30 minutes on the elliptical. Had to get Viv to the House of Bounce. Got the call from a fellow mom on the way that they were closed...who knows why. So, I could have worked out longer after all. Just went home and stayed warm. They just said on the news that we got about 8-9 inches so far.

My calories for today were 1119.

Day 25

Tonight I posted this pic since we are expecting so much snow. I think this pic is so crazy (since I never lived in Colorado). The snow is so high that we are standing even with the windows. This was in college while my friend Vanessa was living in Colorado.

Today was kind of whacked out for counting calories. I counted my meals like I always do but I did some unplanned snacking today...so, my count is not accurate. I just hope we don't get snowed in tomorrow so I can hit the gym.

Day 24

Today I picked this pic for no other reason than it make me laugh. I seriously look like I fell asleep in a tanning bed...FOR DAYS! These are some friends that I worked with after college in my first social work job.

Today was pretty busy...but good. Worked out this morning. 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical and then about 40 minutes of weights with Rebecca.

(then Viv got to go meet Spongebob)

My calories up until dinner was 880. I had a "meal swap" meal for dinner so not sure of the calories but I kept my portions small.

Day 23 - Feeling good

This is a pic from Saturday night where I got to spend time with a lot of good friends I haven't seen in a long time. There were many others there but these are just the ones that made this pic. Good, good times!

Today was a good day. Got a lot accomplished (around the house) and felt good. Didn't make it to the gym but my calories were at 1380.

Day 22 - Weigh In Day

Well, today was weigh in day and I lost another 5 pounds which puts my total at 11.

I've been missing in action the past couple days. Got to hang out with a lot of good friends Saturday night. Some I haven't seen in years. Overall it was a great weekend.

I still paid attention today but didn't actually count calories. And I didn't make it to the gym.

Day 19 - Gonna be a tough caloric weekend :(

Here I am Sept 05, biking the Katy Trail. Good times! Can't wait to do it again, hopefully this time it'll be the three of us. This is right before I got pregnant and started gaining all (and more) my weight back.

Well today was an off day. Ate good this morning. Was at Sam's over lunch so my lunch consisted of three different samples. And then a frozen pizza for dinner. I don't know the total but I'm pretty sure I stayed in my range for those. BUT, I was getting things ready for my wine tasting tomorrow night and snacked on some cheese while I was cutting. And, I also had a "peanut butter cheesecake brownie baby" that I made for tomorrow night. With that, I'm pretty sure I went over.

Since tomorrow is my wine tasting, tomorrow night probably won't be that good. Don't know if I'll be able to get on tomorrow night to check in. I'll be sure to get back on track Sunday.

Today, I did 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical.

Day 18 - Stress Eating

I was probably 19, maybe 20 in this pic. I'm the cute little one again in the middle ;). I picked this one today just because I've been trying to track down my friend on the right. She moved away and we lost touch. Well today, I got a hold of her ex-husband on facebook. The last he knew she was living in Las Vegas...not exactly a small town to track someone down in. Oh well, I'll keep trying. So here's my shout out to Jamie. Miss ya and hope to talk to you soon!

I'm really noticing lately that I'm struggling with the stress eating. It's not like I have TONS of stress but just trying to get stuff done, etc. I think the "newness" is wearing off and it's becoming harder. I'm still doing pretty good but I'm having to think about it more and I think that's where a lot of the "stress" is coming from right now.

Today was a no gym day and my calories were 1320.

Day 17 - Rib Crib "blahhhh"

Here I am just back from the honeymoon when I took down my "Jamaica braids". So, the hair is not looking so hot :)

I've been trying to make myself go to the gym Mon, Wed, Fri (for now, more later). I didn't make it today. My mom wasn't feeling good this morning so I didn't go and was planning to go when Chris got home from work. I should have known better. If I don't go in the morning...it doesn't happen. I get busy doing other stuff, etc. So, I decided to do 30 minutes yoga video I have. I lasted about 10 minutes and I discovered, I HATE YOGA. It's not for me.

Did good on the calories today...I think. Took Viv to a playdate this morning where they had doughnuts. No doughnuts for me...Yipee. I was proud. Anyways, up until dinner my calories were 620. We had a gift card for Rib Crib that we went to use tonight. I LOVE Rib Crib...until now. I would have loved them still, if I could have ordered what I normally do. I checked online before we went to find the nutritional info and couldn't find any. I then asked when we got there and they didn't have any. So, I did my best. I ordered a turkey sandwich with baked beans. I also got a cup of soup. The soup ended up being very cheesy, so it probably wasn't good for me. But anyways, my sandwich wasn't very good and really not worth the waste in calories.

Day 16

I've just spent about 30 minutes trying to find a pic to post for today. Done looking. Maybe I should have spent that time scanning more pics in :)

No gym today. Did good on the calories all day but got really hungry tonight and had to have some crackers. I've done good not eating after 7pm, but, tonight...I gave in. My calories for today were 1534 :(

Day 15 - Weigh In Day

Today was weigh in day. I only lost another one pound this past week, for a total of 6. Really sucks that it was only one pound, but, it could have been worse. I know I have been doing everything right, so I'll just keep chugging along.

At the gym today, I did 30 minutes of weight training with Rebecca and then 30 minutes on the elliptical.

I had a "meal swap" meal tonight so I'm not sure of my total calories. Prior to dinner, my total was 720.

Day 14 - No cake for me :)

I'm running out of pics to put on here...got to get more scanned.

This was in high school.

Our recital was roughly based on the Wizard of Oz and

Vanessa and I were wicked witches.

Okay. Big News Today. Major Progress. I went to a birthday party this afternoon and I didn't have any cake. Woohoo! And, it looked really good too.

I weigh in tomorrow morning and I'm not feeling really good about it this week. I've stayed on track but I don't know, just not feeling it.

No gym today and calories were 1162.

Day 13 - And again...pizza

Me and Hayley on an old trip to Vegas...I could handle that body :)

From the second I woke up this morning, I was thinking about the leftover pizza in the fridge. I had to just go for it and finish them off for lunch. If I didn't, I wasn't going to be able to get anything else accomplished today. It was definitely preoccupying me. Nothing much else happened today. I had to get some work done (birthday invitations and a diaper cake).

No gym today and my calories were 1224.

Day 12 - And today...I got PIZZA :)

I had to post this picture because it really makes me laugh. This is my junior prom in a pic with some of my good friends. Okay, what the hell was I thinking? Why did I decide to stand
surrounded by the tallest girls in the picture. If you can't tell...I'm the shortest one up there. Just another example of a time when I thought I was so fat and nasty and would do ANYTHING to look like that again.

Today turned out to be a pretty good day. I went to the gym this morning and did 30 minutes of elliptical and then Rebecca convinced me to do another 20 minutes on the stepmill. To any of you that have never used a stepmill, let me try to explain the evilness of this machine. If exercise equipments could be the devil...this one is it. I hate it, I despise it, I avoid it at any cost. But today I didn't and I felt great when it was all said and done. Thanks Rebecca!

It wasn't planned but I ended up getting pizza for dinner. I had room in my calories for the day so I decided to go for it. I still counted and I only ate cheese pizza. I think it helped my craving...at least for now. My calories ended at 1274.

Day 11 - A Day of Nothing

YEP...you are seeing it right.

When we docked in Jamaica, I went straight to get braids!

Awww, honeymoon.

One of those days that I really feel like I got ABSOLUTELY nothing done today. In reality, I did. I did a task that I've been meaning to do for awhile and just kept putting it off. I went through my recipes and searched for more online today to find the healthy ones. It's still a work in progress but at least it's moving in the right direction!

No gym today but my calories were at 1259.

Day 10 - I WANT PIZZA

The pictures today are of me and my friend Hayley. She is having a bad week so I hope she'll see these and, at least briefly, let them cheer her up. This is right after high school. So, as you can see, my love for wine started early. Luckily, my taste in wine has improved over the years.

The motivation is slowing. It's not gone, just after eating good for a week and a half, the cravings really start kicking in for a burger or PIZZA. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to deprive myself of it, just didn't want to give in quite yet. Still holding strong!

I had a great workout today with Rebecca.

We did about 45 minutes weight training

and I did 30 on the elliptical.

Calories today were 1150. (If I could have convinced myself to only have one, there would have been enough room for a piece of pizza.)

Oh, and I joined the Biggest Loser Pound for Pound Challenge. I have pledged to lose 40 pounds by the end of June. It's for a good cause...so, just a little more motivation from somewhere else.

Day 9 - Oh, what a blah day

Here is a picture at the plaza in Kansas City during college at KU.

(I'm second from the left)

In this picture I am heavier than I would now like to be but

a lot smaller than I actually am right now.

I didn't like how heavy I was but, at this time,

I was letting it bother me like it does now.

Today has been a blah day. Nothing actually that bad happened, just didn't seem to be going right. Today was my daughter's first day back to speech therapy since Christmas break, so I was really unmotivated to get up and go...but we did. It was really cold and windy this morning (I know, I know...not as blistering cold as it has been, but it was still cold) so it was hard.

I show up at the school, running a little late. So, I get Viv and I out and start up the steps, which Viv insisted I carry her up. Any of you that have seen the steps at Memorial Middle School will know that they are old, falling apart and not really that safe at all. Not to mention there is a lot of them. I am yelling profanities at the school (in my head) for the fact that the steps hadn't been cleaned off so they are still covered in snow and ice. I am desperately trying not to drop my child down the rickety, nasty steps. I get up to the doors, and they are locked. There's a note saying that all doors are locked except the doors by the playground. (again, yelling profanities in my head wondering why no one bothered to tell me this...and also, trying to figure out where the damn playground is). So, Viv and I start back to the car but this time, I make her walk because I'm not sure I could make it down the steps this time without dropping her. We start driving around until I find the playground, I then go to park and its only 15 min parking. I decide, what the hell and park anyways. Take Viv in and the teacher says its fine to park there, so I leave my car. Luckily, no ticket when I left.

Even worse than that story is the fact that the pants I had on today were a tight pair. So, the whole day I'm feeling like a fat ass. Why didn't I just change my pants, you ask. I don't know besides the fact they I don't think I currently own any pants I feel good in.

No gym today but I did some crunches here at the house.

My calories today were 1248.

See you all tomorrow!

Day 8 - Weigh In Day

Woohoo! Weigh In Day and I have lost 5 pounds in the past week. That was a great way to wake up this morning. Hopefully I can keep it up because it's making it more worthwhile.

Hit the gym today. I did 30 minutes of weight training with Rebecca and 30 minutes of cardio on the elliptical. It all felt really good today.

My calories were 1480 today. The high side of my range but still where I should be.

Day 7 -Today Was A Good Day

Posted this honeymoon pic today just because I'm really tired of this

weather and I would rather be on this boat!

Today was a pretty good day. Got back on track and I am getting super excited to weigh in tomorrow. Keep your fingers crossed for me. You really do feel a lot better about yourself when you eat well and stay in check. Had another "meal swap" meal tonight for dinner. ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS...THANKS BREANA! But, I am considering the need to back out of meal swap. As much as I LOVE the meals and the nights that I don't have to cook, they really aren't good for me. They are so yummy but it's so hard to stay focused on calories with them. I'm still deciding, we'll see.

Today, my calories were at 525 up until dinner. I know the dinner wasn't very healthy but I don't know what the calories were. I didn't each as much as I wanted to eat, so I think I did okay. No gym today. The weather should be better this week, so I won't have any excuses.

Just Another Saturday

This is me, Vanessa and her husband Stephen, at my rehearsal dinner. Looks like I need some new make-up. My face looks like a ghost compared to my arm.

Well, today was another "off" day. I didn't count my calories. Had my normal oatmeal for breakfast. And then I started getting things together for my Mary Kay party this afternoon. Didn't actually have lunch or dinner. Just some eating of the party goods. Not a lot but it was still stuff I shouldn't have had. And...no gym.

Yesterday I forgot to mention a great accomplishment for me. I stopped at McDonalds and got Viv a happy meal for lunch...and nothing for me. I waited until I got home. :)

Day 5 - Enough With This Weather Already

I chose this picture today for a good reason. This is me and my friend Monica (my first year of college, I believe). Today, Monica had her first baby, a beautiful baby girl. For most this wouldn't be that noteworthy, but let me fill you in. She broke her arm last Friday in a fall but baby was fine. So now she is going to have a newborn and a new broken arm. That can't be fun. She then went into the hospital Wednesday evening to be induced. First round didn't work so they started another round of pitocin early this morning. Still nothing, so they did a C-section. Her baby girl (Annika) was 9 lbs 12ozs and 21 inches long. Those numbers just send shivers down my spine. So, here's my shout out to Monica. Way to go. You have a beautiful baby girl!

One of my goals with the blog is honesty. I don't want to get on here and pad my stats or just plain fib. So, here it is. Today sucked. This weather is getting to me. ( and when I went out to start the car this morning, my nose hairs were freezing together ) This was a bad week to start counting calories again. Nasty weather, stuck in the house...what to do...eat! I've held it together pretty well this week but today, not so much. Don't get me wrong, I didn't just completely let it go. I just could have done better. I didn't even get around to writing any of my calories down today.

So, no gym today.
And, I have no idea how many calories I ate today.
After all, tomorrow is another day!

Day 4 - I'm hungry today

High School...obviously

It's so annoying to look back at these pictures and think about how fat I thought I was.

I didn't make it to the gym today but I did clean my whole house. I know that doesn't really count but at least it was something.

My calories were around 1300. I ate a homemade meal (by someone else) for dinner so I had to estimate my calories. But, I think I did okay. Oh, and Breana, the cake you wanted us to try... I had a couple bites and Viv ate the rest.

Today was a hard day. I was hungry all day. The past couple days have been pretty easy, haven't been that hungry but today was different. Looking back, I realize that I didn't drink much and I'm sure that had a lot to do with it. I was cleaning all day and just hardly ever stopped to get myself a drink. I'll try to do better tomorrow.

Day 3 - Oh how I love Rebecca

I plan to keep posting pictures of a smaller me to keep me focused. Here I am in high school with my best friend Vanessa...heading off to cheerleading camp. In case you couldn't tell, I'm the short one :)

Now let's get back on track. Rebecca, my trainer is WONDERFUL!!! I owe her a ton of thanks for not giving up on me and holding me accountable. It turns out that I only have 8 sessions left and I told her that I'm not going to be able to buy anymore. (they are freakin expensive) So, we moved my sessions back to once a week to prolong the end and she has offered to let me come and work out with her on Wednesdays, which is what I did this morning. This is her own time. She is going above and beyond. Hopefully she won't get sick of me :) Anyways, thanks Rebecca! You're the best!

Today I did weight training for 45 minutes and cardio for 30 minutes.

My calories for today were 1150, which is a little on the low side of where I should be. But, I didn't count the tasting I did as I finished cooking my "meal swap" meals.

Day 2 - The Clean Laundry Curse

Okay, well here I am 9 months pregnant, on my way to be induced. At the time, I thought this would be the heaviest I would ever be. And, for a long time, it was. But when I weighed in yesterday morning, I have moved beyond that number by 5 pounds. Just trying to keep it all in perspective for myself.

Anyways, on to the day. Well, yesterday was laundry day. Laundry day itself isn't bad, it's the day after. The day you go to put on those freshly washed jeans...and you realize, damn, these are tight. Your mind starts to play tricks on you as the week goes by and you put on those "dirty" jeans that have already been worn (and already been stretched out). It's the moment you attempt to pull up the clean jeans that reality strikes you...again.

Today, I attempted to put up Christmas decorations and make the "meal-swap" meals. So, I didn't make it to the gym. And I was unable to give a full count on calories. Up until dinner I only had 620 calories. We ate our meal swap meal tonight...bacon cheeseburger soup. I figured up the calories in the total meal so I could stay on track, but I haven't figured out how to actually estimate the amount that I made, so I can figure per serving. Needless to say, I didn't actually calculate dinner. I tried to stay in check and not over do it. Hopefully I succeeded. (taking into account that it was an unhealthy meal to begin with)

Day 1 - Mother Nature Is Not Nice

Well, I got up this morning to head to the gym and when I left the house the wind chill was -2 degrees. That doesn't do much for my motivation to get up and work out. It's not that big of a deal for me but it's hard to drag my daughter out that early when it's that cold. But, we made it.

I weighed in this morning and it was worse than I thought (right after the holidays didn't help). Oh well, that's why I'm doing this. And I'm still not ready to post that number on the scale.

Workout totals today were 30 minutes weight training with Rebecca (my trainer) and 30 minutes cardio (treadmill/elliptical).

My calories for today were 1260. Okay, plus a few. I'm still working on it but I caught myself "cheating" today without realizing it. Taking a bite of my daughters chicken while I was cutting it, etc. The snacking without realizing it is still a work in progress.

A brief history in pictures.

The following four pictures are from June 2005. My wedding and honeymoon. This is a good goal for me. I was a size 12 and would be more than happy to be there again. Right after this, I became pregnant...and the rest is history.

The next picture is my birthday. March 2009

Here I am with my daughter. May 2009

Me. September 2009

Me, my daughter and my niece. November 2009

As you can see, I'm not in a good place anymore.